Why do we believe commercials? Because they tell us things are so, and so is so, also! Gotta be so because I saw it and heard it on television
Television, the media, uses two of the most powerful means of communication, visual and audio to sell you something that you just found out that you needed but really never knew you needed. Survival of our species is threatened if we do not have that product.
My favorite commercial is the infomercial. The infomercial may be defined as commercial advertisement on television that’s made to appear like a full-length interview or documentary by the happiest people in the world and with best bodies in the universe.
And when I can make three equal payments of $201.99 then I can have that kind of body now. Christy Brinkley told me so. It must be true because she is still a babe. By far that is my favorite infomercial or show and tell with Christy Brinkley (still pretty hot) and Chuck Norris (still pretty ugly) promoting some type of amazing and miraculous product all in one gym. The only thing that is holding me back from buying is the fear that I might start looking like Chuck Norris.
Ever since Big Brother said that we were too fat as a nation, TV has resurrected a new industry. I think Big Brother found out that ¾ of the military age young adults are not fit for military service and cost of health problems with obesity in adults is astronomical.
Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, I turn on TV just to watch infomercials just to find out how much weight I can loose. Maria Osmond and Dan Marino always tell me how much weight they lost and how much I will loose.
By the way, what time is the middle of the night anyway? How fast can I call Jenny Craig before she quits work? Who is Jenny Craig anyway? It seems Weight Watchers and Nutrisystem got a shot in the arm out of our guilt. Now everybody is on the band wagon.
Other favorite commercials are the insurance company commercials that save you an average of $367.00 dollars and State Farm answers with a commercial that they can save us $410.00 average if we switch to them. Another company, Allstate, tells me that I will save $450.00 if I let them insure me. Then there’s the one that if you sleep with them for 15 minutes, you might manage a 15% discount and all this is hyped by some kind of lizard.
How can all those insurance companies save you so much money now? Why now? Now let’s say my insurance cost me $836.00 a year, let’s see if we can have a little fun with this. First I call Nationwide Insurance and they give me, let’s say, a savings of $354.00. Now that leaves me $482.00 per year, good. Next let’s go to another company and say they, according to the lizard, saves me 15% which equals $72.00 so that puts me at $410.00 a year… Then I can go to Farmers Insurance and they save me $450.00 so that now I have beat the insurance game. I get my final insurance at Farmers Insurance and they send me a check for $40.00. That’s what I call great insurance coverage and $40.00 in my pocket!
Why haven’t the insurance companies done this before? All one has to do is shop around for the bargain. This entire savings is brought to us by the same people who pulled out and abandoned Florida after some major loses. Now where would you like their good hands to be placed? I do know where those hands have been, so don’t place them on me anywhere.
And we still believe them because they tell us so and it has to be so, it’s on TV! Everybody knows that what’s on TV is so! Now where is that is damn duck and can they do any better? Wrong insurance!
Another of my favorite info’s is the young man driving up to his mansion in a Rolls Royce with a drop dead gorgeous blonde sweating diamonds. He and his whatever want to sell me CD’s on how to get rich with no money. All for 3 easy payments of $99.99 and you will receive his CD telling you how to make millions on real estate, but it sounds just like what happened to burst the housing bubble. No thanks, Bubba, I am living that mess, right now.
Every day on TV we are bombarded by Drug company commercials, prosaically what I said. Drug companies are now spending more money peddling their wares than research and development. In January, 2007, drug companies had a profit of $235.4 billion, but two York University researchers found that the drug companies were spending 24.4% on sales and promotion verses 13.4% on research and development (R & D).
Cialis and Viagra Levitra brought to you by our drug companies cannot be used if your heart is not ticking right, your liver is bad, your kidneys don’t kidney, if tour tongue is swollen and if your eyes are blurring. I wonder how much was spent on R&D to get a man to stand at attention.
PS. I am so tired of TV peddling erectile dysfunction and feminine hygiene products that I wish we had Winston back.